What lingers after arguing...

What would I do if you were no longer mine?

How could I ever go back to being me?

When all this time I thought I was whole,

yet, you're the other half I did not see.

Would the world change without you?

Would the colors all be shades of grey?

Was it you that illuminated everything?

Because I simply cannot say.

Was  the music always written for us?

Not just me but of our life together?

Love songs that my heart knew well,

shall only bring sadness forever.

When did my heart feel so weightless?

Like a feather floating in the sky.

Without you it's weight is too much to bear,

That I hope I never ask why.

What would I do if you were no longer mine?

I can't allow myself to think the thought

And although I know it won't ever happen

I wrote this down in case I forgot

I thought these things when I felt a distance,

A dark cloud growiing between you and I.

Fear crept itself into my cousciousness

And that is when I began to cry.

I'd feared the worst, the ultimate loss

the ending to this thing we call love.

I warned myself and said to stop 

and never think this of my beloved

For I hold a ring upon my hand

the promise of my one and only

To be his forever and evermore

and so that is the way it will be.

-D.

What every woman should aspire to be....a Proverbs 31 Woman.

Proverbs 31 describes a woman full of virtue. As godly women, we are to pursue moral excellence, goodness, and righteousness. We cannot expect to find a godly man if we ourselves are not filled with virtue. Proverbs 31:10 reads, "Who can find a woman of strength, for her price is far above rubies." Men are referred to as having great strength as well (Exodus 18:21). This strength is shown by fearing God, loving God, hating sin, and being truthful. These men flee wickedness. To find a man such as this we must become women who fear God, love God, hate sin, and are truthful. 

Nowadays, it's becoming harder to find such a man for you ladies. We live in a world where the gentleman is decreasing and the quote "douche bag/jerk" is rising. So where have they gone? A better question to ask ourselves is this, "Are we looking for our godly man in the right places?" Because let's be honest, you're not going to find your godly man down at club Sevilla or at a Hookah bar. He won't be found at a frat party or in that circle of "friends" who are up to no good. There is a possibility that you'll meet him at school and at the least you know he has an education going for him. That's definitely a good start. However, the place with the least amount of risk and the highest amount of success is to search for a godly man in the house of the Lord. 


Needless to say, I know what you are thinking..."C'mon Debbie, I knew this one girl who dated a guy from church and he wasn't exactly godly, if you know what I mean." And yes, I do realize that not all the guys or men at church appear to be who they say they are. This is why I said the church has the lowest risk. As a Christian or a believer of Christ, we all at one point or another understand that there are wolves among sheep. The grounds of a church are by no means excluded, likewise neither are possible suitors. But the closer your walk with God becomes, the better you will become in determining whether or not this man is right for you. Above all, you must trust in God and know He will bring you together with the man He has created for you in the most perfect way imaginable.


So, “Who can find a woman of strength?, for her price is far above rubies." We must become rubies ladies. In Hebrew, rubies did not refer to that bright, red, shiny gem we all know today. Rubies translated as "Ohdem" which refers to a pink pearls or coral with reddish tone. Pink pearls were highly valued and often found in mollusks of the Red Sea.  To be this type of ruby meant we are rare and scarce. We are beautiful not only outside but inside as well as shown through our character, our moral goodness, and our hearts which seek after God (Prov. 31:30).

As I begin to break down different scriptures I realize that the simplicity in the use of words is actually a beautiful complex puzzle. Proverbs 31:10 is a perfect example. This verse means more than what is plainly written, it's a well filled with teachings, the deeper you dive  into it, the more you research, the more valuable knowledge you will obtain. The same goes for searching after God. The more devoted you become in letting him make you a virtuous woman; the more He will bless your life. Not only to help you find the godly man which He has created specifically for you, but to help you experience true joy in His holy spirit and make you a beacon of light for other young women.

Prince Charming

As a little girl, I always thought to myself, "One day....one day my prince charming will come and sweep me off my feet and we  will live happily ever after." I must admit, Disney had a LOT to do with this. I remember I used to watch Aladdin and I'd pretend I was Jasmine but rather than having a tiger as a pet, I had a calico cat! Haha! The older I grew, the more I wanted my prince to come.

For those of you who don't personally know me, I'll give you the jist of my relationship with my father. Every girl learns (or should learn) from their father how a man should treat a woman. He tells her what type of guy she deserves and how he should love her, support, her, care for her, and so forth. I didn't have the luxury of knowing any of these things. See, my father was and till this day is an alcoholic. I knew he loved me, but we were always very distant from one another and he has never told me how a man ought to treat me. I simply didn't know.

Thankfully I have found my prince and his name is Nate. July 1st will be our 6 year anniversary and yes, I am totally flipping the freak out with joy lol! He is everything I could have hoped for and everything as amazing as I knew God had in store for me. I am truly blessed to have him in my life.

While I know how a good man should treat a woman, here are some ways a man should not treat a woman:

1. Guys shouldn't try to mold you into a "perfect" girl for them.


Women shouldn't have to become something they are not to begin with. The point of being in a relationship is that you fall in love with someone who accepts and loves you for who you are. Not for someone who they have molded you into so they could love you. Girls, you shouldn't have to like all same things that your boyfriend likes either. He shouldn't have that kind of power over you that you loose your own identity and try to have his so you think he'll like you even more. That's not going to work at  all. I mean let's put it this way, Nate (my boyfriend) likes calculus and coding programs. So knowing that, I am also going to learn calculus and how to code, because if I do, he will love me even more because we have that in common. Sounds crazy right? It's because it is!

2. Guys shouldn't control your opinions.

Guys shouldn't voice your opinions either. In my opinion, a man worth searching for is a man who appreciates the mind of his woman. Your opinions are vital to your character, and it's ok to not agree with everything your boyfriend does. Speak your mind. If he loves you for it he's a keeper, if not, he doesn't deserve you. Remember you are not his puppet or possession so don't let him speak your opinions. Raise your voice ladies! Speaking of....

P.S. Nate,
"It's pronounced SIR-up , not SEER-up!" lol silly boyfriend doesn't know how to say syrup.

3. Guys shouldn't pressure you into doing something you don't want to. 

This goes beyond sexual actions. For instance, don't  just go somewhere because he wants to. If you're not comfortable going to that friend's house or a party, then tell him how you feel and why. He should be man enough to understand why you may be uncomfortable with the situation and not want to put you in a vulnerable position. Men should always be  protective of their women. I am lucky I have Nate because he is very protective of me. Not in that obsessive type of way, but in a loving, nurturing way. He can tell right off the bat if I'm the least bit uncomfortable in a situation and take  steps to making me feel better.

4. Guys should never EVER be abusive to women.

Love does not mean abuse. Abuse is hurting or injuring whether physically or emotionally. Put downs, negative remarks and him saying you're not thin enough are all forms of abuse. No  matter what your body type, men should never pressure you into becoming something you're not. They sure as hell shouldn't ever lay their hands on you or hit you with an object. That's not how people show love. Guys should never take advantage of a woman's resources either. By this I mean a real man shouldn't be dependent on the woman for financial support, a place to live, or for getting around town like as if you're some sort of sugar mamma. That's just plain wrong. He needs to assume responsibility and put his pants on. He needs to respect you.

5. Guys should never get in the way between you and God.


Ideally, a man should have God in his heart before going after yours. If you have a relationship with God this is the only exception. If a guy doesn't respect your religion he doesn't respect you to begin with. Your partner should bring you closer in your walk with God rather than away from Him. It's important to remember this ladies and always keep these three things in mind...

- God is Love. Therefore, if a man is without God he can never know what love truly is.

-A woman's heart should should be so hidden in God that a man needs to seek Him to find her.

-And lastly but not least..... If a man doesn't fall to his knees in prayer, he doesn't deserve to fall to one knee with a ring. -JW.

These are just some major point on how men shouldn't treat women. My next post will be on how to become a virtuous woman through the teachings of Proverbs 31. Hope this has helped!

This little thing we call love...

“We’re all a little weird. And life is weird. And when we find someone 
whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into 
mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love—true love.” 
― Robert Fulghum

I couldn't have agreed more with Robert. When I look at my relationship with Nate, I know there are things about me that aren't perfect. Likewise, I know he isn't perfect either. No one is. But we continue to stay together throughout the years. I can admit I am not the same girl I used to be when Nate first met me. (Looking back, I wonder if he was crazy for wanting to be with  me! haha!) No, but seriously. I pretty much "one-eightied" (If that's a word?....spell check says no, I say yes.....add to dictionary. Problem solved.)  throughout our relationship. He changed too, but not as drastic. I actually give my mum props for not ignoring me every time we went out in public. I'd imagine it would go something like this: Stranger says, "Oh...is this YOUR daughter?" Mum says, (looks around suspiciously....ignores making eye contact with me) "......I came alone." (she says as slowly moving away). OMG that would be hilarious, but none of that happened. I was actually on a short leash with my mum. She let me "express" myself regardless. She was however against piercings....and in my stupid, rebellious mind, I wanted to do what I couldn't. So....these were some of my characteristics back in the day. And forgive me if this is a bit of a shocker to you. But I promise you I am nothing more than a sweet, shy, young woman now. LOL.

You know how everyone falls into a scene in high school? ....I was in the "HXC (hardcore)/Scenester /Artsy thangs" group. I was weird. :P

Take a trip back in time and BOOP. There I was. O_O hahaha!

As you can see, I looked extremely different. I had crazy hair and it practically looked like I hid things in that hair of mine. I went through bottles of conditioner like a newborn goes through diapers. I listened to some deep music, wore band tees, went to shows, rocked the bandana as a headband, and although I wasn't allowwed to get piercings.....I did. (like I said, I was weird. My mum is especially glad that I'm more of a prep now a days. LOL.) I had:

7/16ths (almost a half inch) gauge plugs.
Monroe (above upper side of lip)
Septum
Belly Button
Nose

Note: I  didn't have all these at the same time. I had my belly button and plugs during the whole "phase" but once I got a new piercing, I ditched the previous one. (P.S. If you act like a stalker around me and try to find wee holes or indentations, YOU WILL find them. lol. Or if you're that curious just ask.

Anywho...Nate met me when I looked like that. He looked different when I met him. To be honest this guy always seems to be growing, so I'm pretty sure he's taller now than he was when I met him. (I must learn his secret to growing....)  Also, Nate had golden brown, LONG hair! It was as long as where his chest area is and super straight! He looked like a surfer/skateboard/wakeboard type of guy.

We listened to some crazy music but we stuck with each other through thick and thin and slowly but surely we both matured over the years! (By The Way: This photo was taken in 2007 and we captured our FIRST New Year's Eve kiss! :) ) See how long his hair was?!!? I was a weirdo, him, well not really so much. HAHA. But we are still in love after almost 6 years and he continues to amaze me and be my source for happiness, laughter, smiles, moments of joy, love, treasured memories and so so much more.

We are a couple.

We cook together.

We travel together across CA.

(Rockin' our matching shades lol)

We are best friends.

We cuddle while watching movies.

He takes photos of me.

And I take photos of him.

Then we put them all into our lovely scrapbook! <3 

So what if I like having a turtle as a pet? So what if he finds calculus of all things interesting? So what if i'm secretly a germaphobe? So what if he's a bit ocd? So what if we randomly drive somewhere spontaneously because Yelp told us there's a pretty amazing bakery across town? So what if our conversations begin with us making up our own onomatopoeia's and then somehow end with how blue cheese actually becomes blue?  So what if we have the weirdest inside jokes? We are in love and as long as we can share our bit of weirdness with someone who truly cares, that's really all that matters. Hope you can all find someone who is just right for you! :)

Hubbie? Wifey? C'mon, get real.

A lot of people often ask me, "When are you guys getting married?" (Nate and I) I respond, "We're waiting until after we get our education." We've been together for over 5 and a half years but waiting patiently. I know there are a lot of other couples out there waiting like us, and I totally commend you on that. I know first hand how difficult that may be, especially living in times like these... But one thing that really bothers me is when I see the words "hubbie", or "wifey" thrown around like a darn beach ball all over the internet when those people saying it aren't even married. I see this a lot, particularly on Facebook. Like really? C'mon...That word ACTUALLY means something to those who appreciate it's meaning! The words are so watered down that people don't realize the true meaning of having the privilege to call your significant other your "husband or wife." When you are  able to it is a beautiful thing.

So some of you may think, "Oh well it's not that big a deal." My response? ....YES IT IS. Marriage for me is a bonding physically, emotionally, and above all spiritually between myself, my significant other, and God. God did not take the concept of marriage lightly, he was overjoyed to hear two lovers came together in flesh and soul. The Song of Songs 4 describes how a soon to be husband felt the first time he laid eyes upon his future bride: 

"How beautiful you are my darling!

Oh, how beautiful!

Your eyes behind your veil are doves,

Your hair is like a flock of goats

descending from Mount Gilead...."

"...Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon"

"...Your neck is like the tower of David, 

built with elegance..."

"All beautiful you are my darling....there is no flaw in you."

The scripture goes on and on, and it's very beautiful. To be married is a blessing and people need to realize how irreverently they use it. If your relationship was founded on true love and a deep faith, then you really would have gotten married. Not to be mean, but hey...if you aren't married, don't play like you are. It's just plain rude. Yeah, i get it you guys say you're in "love", but true love means commitment. True love means 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. 

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast,

it is not proud. It does not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,

it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

So be kind to others who are married or planning on getting married. Don't use words with beauty and true meaning just to try to make other people think you guys are serious. If you are, you will get married. If you're not, don't say my "hubbie" or "wifey." Period.  It bothers me because I don't even know if people will realize that I'm ACTUALLY married when I write my "husband" over the internet. (Because no, I wouldn't write "hubbie") The word is, like I said, thrown around like a beach ball. It's like a piece of gum stuck to my shoe that I can't get rid of. LOL. But seriously people, just save those words for those who've walked down the isle and earned that privilege. 

That's the end of my little rant lol

Our Biracial Romance...

Ok so here's the scoop summed up: I'm Mexican and Spanish, and my boyfriend Nate is Croatian, Jewish, English and a ton of other races. A lot of interesting things have happened in these five and a half years that  we've been together. Many of which are new experiences with dishes and desserts. These are the stories of a few of those things.

Bread. Growing up as a Mexican-American girl, my mother always made us sandwiches with either white or wheat bread. That's basically all we knew with what to make a sandwich. So whenever Thanksgiving  came around we (my sister, brother, and myself) would always get excited when we saw ROLLS. Cute little mini bread balls. We loved them. They were different, and "fancy" LOL. (Scroll down for further reading)

                 
...our "fancy" rolls. Aren't they beautiful?

I've had many dinners with Nate's family, and i have to admit it was quite a new experience for me. They introduced me to all sorts of bread which i didn't even know existed. Seriously. It was sad haha. I guess you could say i was a noob when it came to bread varieties. I went from knowing 2 basic types to knowing these.....

Baguette. Skinny long bread that you eat with butter. Something i thought was crazy because i only ate bread with jelly or cream cheese lol.

Ciabatta  bread. It's probably my favorite. Being deprived from this bread should be child negligence.

Corn Bread. Surprisingly it's amazing with a bit of butter...and A LOT of honey.

Flat bread. Great for pitas with a whole lotta lettuce. :) (side joke: What did the salad say to the dressing? Lettuce (let us) be friends! LOL i know i know it was dorky but whatever)

Poppy seed bread. WARNING seeds get stuck in between teeth so floss floss floss!

Sourdough bread. I cannot for the life of me eat this. I do NOT like it.  NO THANK YOU....ILL PASS.

Focaccia bread. I love this bread!!! It can have different herbs on it and its absolutely dee-lishious! But what's up with them dipping it in olive oil and vinegar?

Rye bread. It tastes literally like black licorice. SO not for me. LOL

Soooo all in all, I really like a lot of them, but i won't eat it if it just plain smels weird to me. On the fllip note, Nate has been introduces to lots of yummy (probably not healthy) desserts such as: Flan (my affair. no jk but seriously its amazing.), pan dulce, arroz con leche, and more. :) So before you get involved into a biracial relationship, word of advice: You will have many new experiences, some not so fun. But all in all it's a fun ride to learn a lot of new things!

Love & Hate go hand in hand.....

These are a few things I love slash hate lol enjoy!






1. Love being complimented on my stilettos,....hate going home to realize my poor footsies are sore and pink.
--deal with it body. you'll just have to evolve to be able to support these 115 pounds.

2. Love seeing little poochies with their oddly cute bug eyes,....hate not being able to take them all home with me. ---If i people can follow me on Facebook why can't I have a hoard of puppies following me? It seems legit.

3. Love spending time with my boyfriend/best friend,....hate that his gamer score is exceedingly higher than mine. --the only thing this proves is that he is a controller hog and plays more than I do. Lol the picture below is probably how our future, future, fuuuuuuuture baby's first photo will look like LOL. priceless.

4. Love that my campus bathrooms are so pretty and even have flowers on the counter tops,....hate that each one has an annoying stall with a huge gap between the door. Creepy perverts! ---(must sit in "the thinker" position...knees together, elbow rest on knee, and hand on chin....just in case.)

5. Love seeing cute chubby babies in all their glory,....hate hearing "Oh can you hold him/her real quick while i go (insert here)?" ----lady, take a good look at me. I'm a scrawny armed, 5' tall, looking trendy nerd/hipster/call it whatever you will... YOU BETTA BE BACK QUICK.

6. Love to paint my nails ALL the time, it makes me feel good. dam good.,......hate realizing i have to shower after and when I'm done my nails look like i tried to scrape the polish off with sandpaper. gross. ---and why is  glitter nail polish such a B. to get off?!? Product malfunction? NO. the glitter flakes just love you. Everything is better with glitter added. Everything.

7. Love going to Carnivals, Fairs, Renaissance Fairs, etc,.....hate having to pay $3.00 for a beloved churro. :( ---Solution: Drive to T.J. pay nice stranger $1.00, receive paper bag FULL of mini-churros, drive back to America, enjoy churros, yell at guy selling churros for $3.00.

8. Love buying rings, bracelets, necklaces, you name it!.....hate having them turn my skin green as allergic reaction. ---me to body: why can't you understand?!?? I...NO, Girls!...Girls just wanna have fun!!!!

9. Love curling my hair even though it's super duper long and takes on average 2 hours,.....hate finding out that today is going to be a windy or rainy day. grrrrrrrrrrrr. WTH?! seriously?!?! ALL CAPS RAGE!!!!!!!!!

10. Love blogging about things that tickle my fancy or just make me melt inside which I get to share with all you lovely people.....hate chihuahuas. --I know that's random, but I've been living with a pretty gnarly one in my backyard. She's my aunt's dog and her name is Beva (pronounced beh-vah). She's no taller than 1.5 feet, weighs about 6 pounds, has black and white fur, just about barks for everything (including her shadow), and is responsible for that uber sexy thing of a scar on my left calf. Why did she scratch me with her teeny yet vicious claws? I haven't the slightest clue. I was just giving her the daily dosage of kibbles n bits.....talk about being ungrateful am I right? Anywho....I've developed an irrational acute fear of chihuahuas.     That's all.